Tonight was a great night

Friendship, horror movies and now I'm listening to Lydia.

Hopefully this time I mean it...

I really would appreciate prayers, I'm trying to make some good changes in my life, hopefully this time my attempts bear better fruit than last time. I love you guys.

I have been listening to this song so much.

Go here and listen to 'I think She Died'. So awesome.

"Well, I guess my life growing up was really good. My parents really loved me and my brother a lot. I had friends around me. I was never real popular or confident or happy all throughout school. I felt like kind of a loser. I tried to do sports and I was never any good, so I was like, the manager of the basketball team. I didn't play on the basketball team, you know? Then I got kicked off the lacrosse team, and I'd go to the dances with my friends, like, a guy who I was friends with. I never really kissed any girls until pretty late in life, but even then, I was never happy. I never felt like I found my place until...well, I started doing this band and it was like, "okay, this is the path that I'm on now, for a while, so I'll be in this band," but even then, I didn't find any real contentment until about three years ago. I went to visit this community and saw people who loved each other and I realized that was all I ever needed. It wasn't to be popular, or to be accepted, or to be successful, or to get married...any of the things I tried to do and failed, in some respect. I realized all I've gotta do is love people and if I find my contentment in serving people, and giving, and loving - then it's not dependent on what people's response is. You know? You don't say, "she's gotta love me back or else I can't be happy," or, "she's gotta marry me," or, "we've gotta sell this many records or I can't be happy," or, "I've gotta have this kind of house or I can't be happy." It's more like, no, I've gotta love people. And I've gotta love God. And that's always possible."

- Aaron Weiss of mewithoutYou

I am not at all who I want to be.

First of all, last night was awesome. I had the pleasure of seeing Standing Small and Cool Hand Luke in Huntington for free with a ton of friends, great times. Mark from CHL was talking last night about his faith and what he sees going on in the world right now, and he hit on a lot of things that I've been talking about with some friends lately. I'm really sick of how we (Christians) are turning people away from God. We talk a lot. We talk about how great our church is, how it's better than whatever other church, how great our youth group is, how it's cooler than youth group x and so on. We talk all this stuff, but we don't do anything that really matters. All we do is talk, then we act however we want and all we do is turn people away. If people can't see something good in the lives of those who claim Christ, then who can blame them for not taking it seriously? Sure, there are some people who simply will never believe, that's a fact, but you can't use that as a scapegoat for not caring enough to reach out to people or to live however you want. By living in a way that our actions deny our words only shows people the hypocritical side of Christianity that seems to be all most know of the faith. With this, it's easy for people to deny this, and find other fruitless things to fill the void that will ultimately present itself at one time or another during everyone's life. This is why I think it's important to realize that being a Christian is not about going to Heaven. Heaven is a bonus, it's a privilege, it's not the focal point of Christianity though. Being a Christian is about loving others, about showing that love, about helping people in need, about bringing Heaven down to earth, about striving for something better here. I'm just writing this because I feel it heavy on my heart, I have for awhile and I'm just ready to make some changes in order to do better on this myself. If you read this, thanks, I hope my ramblings make sense. Love.

It's time for me to look at the bigger picture. Find out what's really important. I need to let go of some stuff and pick up all new things, things that matter, things that are real, things I can count on. I hope I'm ready for this. Also, i need to tell you something. This isn't a everybody reader you, this is a very specific you. I am constantly praying for you, you have no idea. My heart aches so much for things that have happened to you. I hope you can find peace, I hope you can see truth. It's your turn to shine, not for yourself, but for everyone else.

I'm so glad I have two days off work ahead of me, because today has definitely not been the best day. Why can't I just be happy with what God gives me?