The other night a friend sent me a link to download a documentary about the band Underoath. I expected to see a lot of live footage and the usual funny backstage banter that you normally get with any film that comes out based on a band. Throughout the two hours of the it though, I was extremely surprised at how honest this look was into the lives of the band. The camera was exactly what it should have been for a documentary type film, it was an unbiased observer, for the better or worse. I could quickly see why Tooth and Nail wouldn't let them release the feature, as a lot of the content focused on the amount of money that the band was making and how they weren't seeing any of it.
It's easy to think that more popular bands such as Underoath are living the easy life. They play big shows, have a bus driver, a crew to set up their gear and get to travel all over the world. That is not the case though. In one segment of the video one of the guitarists, Tim McTague, shared the fact that in 2007 (when this was being filmed) the band had made $1,000,000 from January of that year to the present and yet had only received $24,000 of that, which was to be split among the six members. This is coming from a supposed "Christian" record label. Ugh.
At one point, they showed a fan talking to McTague, attacking the band for using their Christianity as a marketing tool to make sure that they sold a lot of tickets/records since that's how the Christian market is. (If you don't believe me just take a second to think of how many big Christian artists have been around forever and still make a ton of money...or just look at televangelism.) McTague made the rebuttal that if they wanted to do that, it would be easy to play churches every night for $40,000+ guarantees and that they could make much more money but that they intentionally don't play Christian venues simply for that reason. This brought up something that I had struggled with in my personal life a lot for the past 3 years or so.
When I lived in Nashville I attended Lipscomb University for a year, then took a year off to just work and play music. During this time I was doing my best to not ask my parents for any kind of extra monetary help (they were paying my car insurance and cell phone) as I believed that they were doing too much for me already. Being a member of a unknown band wasn't bringing in any cash and I worked at an electronic store making $6/hr + commission. That sounds cool, but on big ticket items I would receive 1% commission, where as I would get 10% on overpriced accessories (cables, speaker wire, warranties, surge protectors...etc). I specifically tried not to sell anyone something they didn't need, because I didn't want to feel like I was cheating anyone or lying to them to make my check a little better. This is where I felt a little betrayed though. I thought here I am, being honest, doing what I feel is right, and yet the best I can afford to do for myself right now is sharing a one room apartment (not one bedroom) with two other guys and eating a diet of mostly ramen and spaghetti-os. I remember one customer coming in one day wanting to buy a TV, and after figuring out what size he wanted, what kind of things he was going to be hooking up with the tv and whether he wanted LCD or plasma, I began making a few suggestions for him to consider from different companies. When he decided on the one he wanted, he said something along the lines of "Well hopefully this is a good price and what I need and you're not just pushing this on me to get some commission on your next check." I was so mad for a second that he would say this, to the point that I explained to him that I would be making about $1.50 on this sale, and that if I wanted to do that I could have convinced him to buy a $150 surge protector and make an extra $15. He didn't believe me at first, but I explained exactly how our payroll worked and that it meant more to me that he got a good product that he loved rather than for me to screw him over and make money. He ended up being a return customer. I was very thankful for him as he would buy something every now and then that he knew he didn't really need, or could get cheaper somewhere else, but that would give me a little extra on my check. I still felt like I was being cheated though. I felt that if I was doing everything the way God wanted me to that life should be easy, that everything should be working out and that I should be comfortable. Another instance that I'm reminded of is when my band was asked to play a retreat for a church in Redding, PA. It was a 24 hour drive round trip, but one of our friends was setting it up and we said that if they could at least cover part of travel that we would do it, just because it would be a fun show. We got there, played and were about to settle in for the night so we could make the drive back the next day when the guy who put it on hands us an envelope containing about $600 more than we would need to cover all the travel. It was a huge blessing, and even though I felt a little weird about making a $200 profit on a 45 minute set for a church function, I was hoping this was God giving me this and not me being greedy for taking it. It did pay the rent and bought me a good meal though, haha.
In any event, here's what I want to say. I think that all these instances show two things in a real way that we're told through God's Word. He tells us that we should know He cares and that He will take care of us, if only for the fact that we can see how He cares for the sparrows. He also tells us that our reward in the next life is going to be so amazing that we cannot even begin to fathom it. So regardless of if you have a crappy job or if the person doing things that you think are awful seems better off than you with their job, grades or relationships with the opposite sex, just know that we are promised something so much better just around the corner by a God who is not in the business of breaking His promises.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
i promise if i came into a large sum of money tomorrow that after i took care of my parents, some people i think deserve much more than they have and a few organizations i would buy my own house somewhere on the outskirts of some town that has hardwood floors and i would build the greatest recording studio ever. i would also get a boarder collie or a great dane. i can't decide if i want a dog that is a genius or an idiot.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
My friend Benji Taylor never ceases to amaze me. He has a new worship EP coming out with four originals and one cover on it, and the majority of it can be found on this myspace. The last track on there is my favorite so far. Please share this with your friends and pick up a copy when it comes out if you dig it. Thanks for checking it out.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
"If we could only see us now..."
Sorry that this is so long. Hopefully it makes sense to someone other than myself, haha.
The other night I decided to text several friends that I’d lost touch with, just letting them know that I was thinking about them and that I was thankful for their influence on my life. It was awesome because most of them sent back some really cool responses and it was good to hear from them. I even got to talking to my friend Christina who I hadn’t really talked to since leaving West Virginia about 6 months ago. We started off talking about what we were each up to, she told me her plans for school in the fall etc. and I told her about work and about some stuff I was trying to get going. We eventually got on the subject of Ohio Valley University, the school that we both attended in Parkersburg, which led to some good conversation about church and the nature of God. These are the kinds of discussions that I love. I really enjoy hearing opinions from other people on these subjects and just taking in that person’s relationship with God and how they feel about the state of things now.
Christina and I come from very different backgrounds when it comes to church and faith and those kinds of things, which is really cool as far as I’m concerned. I was raised in the Church of Christ, a super conservative church that doesn’t (usually) have instrumental music or clapping/dancing/raising of hands and when you’re saved it doesn’t really come with a prayer, only baptism. Christina attends a church on the other end of the spectrum. Spiritual gifts, dancing and guitars are all things that are in attendance during their Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday services (which I have no problem with personally). We both talked about how OVU, and the Church of Christ (OVU is a Church of Christ school) mentalities seem to be somewhat of a breeding ground for the people who are so quick to say that this or that person is going to Hell for this or that because the Bible doesn’t instruct to do it. This has always perplexed me, and it’s not just an OVU thing, not just a Church of Christ thing, it’s across the board. Everyone thinks that they're right in what they're doing, or else they wouldn't be doing it, for the most part at least.
I see different churches and the way they do things and my best guess is that all we can do is study the Word and model our life on that while we find a place to worship that is preferable to the other places available to us. Is this wrong though? How can we be sure? I’ve adapted these questions to the concept of being born again that comes with being saved. Sure this is about being made clean and free of sin, but couldn’t it also be about us having to start a new life mentally too? I’ve learned to love the phrase “new Christian” in this light as well. None of us, as humans, grow at the same rate. We all experience physical changes at different ages and we mature at different times as well. I think this applies to our spiritual lives just as much as it does to our physical bodies. In my opinion, I can’t see how anyone can really expect for another person to be on the same page as them when it comes to something as personal as faith. We all have different ways of learning and understanding as well as different influences outside of ourselves that will mold us into who we are, as a human or a Christian. With that in mind, how can we say that this or that person is really wrong with their faith, or that they are remaining stagnant because they’re not going outside of their comfort zones? Aren’t we all just in our comfort zones? No matter where you worship, you must at least feel comfortable there, you must feel like you belong or that you gain something from the other members that you come in contact with.
Growing up in the church that I did was a good experience for me as I had several youth ministers in my life that were a little “out there” as some would say, but as far as I could tell all that meant was that they were actually striving to follow the Gospel of Christ rather than the cultural norm of the congregation that they were employed by. I really value this because it brought me to a place (along with a class I took instructed by the wonderful Dr. Earl Lavender while at Lipscomb and some youth ministry classes taught by a man named Jeff Fincher) where I was able to adapt what I had learned and what I continue to learn to my personal life while being respectful of other’s opinions while learning from them as well. To me this was such a blessing as I’ve met people of differing faiths over the years and been able to have such good conversations about what they believed while doing my best to answer questions that they may have about my faith. This upbringing also gave me experience with those who were super conservative and damming of most that was outside of the 4 walls of whatever square brick building they determined actually had God’s presence in it. Ugh. Please. This leads really makes me wonder though. I don’t get how this or that person can point fingers (myself included, I’m doing it right now) at others and be dumbfounded about why they think or act the way they do. I don’t get how we’re supposed to find common ground so to speak. Sure, I’m ok with people having different ideas or opinions, but I still judge people for what they say/do/believe, and it’s not justified by me not doing it audibly. I still think oh wow, this person tries to sound so intelligent by regurgitating whatever they remember from their philosophy classes and yet they don’t really have any idea about what they’re truly attempting to say. I wonder if that’s all we can do though. We obviously can’t be like Christ. We should certainly try, but we can never be as loving or compassionate or understanding as He is. We just can’t do that, which brings up the question what can we actually do? I love the quote from Ghandi that tells us that we should “be the change we wish to see in the world” but I wonder how we can be that change without venturing into situations that will leave us pointing fingers or boasting that we’re right while saying that everybody else just hasn’t figured it out yet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not questioning my faith here, I’m just questioning how to go about living it out. It’s tough to want to show the love of God to people while having this judgmental voice inside my head telling me why other people are wrong.
Sorry if this seemed scatterbrained/ unorganized...that’s how my brain works I guess, haha, I basically wrote this and didn't really look back over it, also I've never really been a writer. I would really love any thoughts that you have on this subject and I look forward to reading them.
The other night I decided to text several friends that I’d lost touch with, just letting them know that I was thinking about them and that I was thankful for their influence on my life. It was awesome because most of them sent back some really cool responses and it was good to hear from them. I even got to talking to my friend Christina who I hadn’t really talked to since leaving West Virginia about 6 months ago. We started off talking about what we were each up to, she told me her plans for school in the fall etc. and I told her about work and about some stuff I was trying to get going. We eventually got on the subject of Ohio Valley University, the school that we both attended in Parkersburg, which led to some good conversation about church and the nature of God. These are the kinds of discussions that I love. I really enjoy hearing opinions from other people on these subjects and just taking in that person’s relationship with God and how they feel about the state of things now.
Christina and I come from very different backgrounds when it comes to church and faith and those kinds of things, which is really cool as far as I’m concerned. I was raised in the Church of Christ, a super conservative church that doesn’t (usually) have instrumental music or clapping/dancing/raising of hands and when you’re saved it doesn’t really come with a prayer, only baptism. Christina attends a church on the other end of the spectrum. Spiritual gifts, dancing and guitars are all things that are in attendance during their Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday services (which I have no problem with personally). We both talked about how OVU, and the Church of Christ (OVU is a Church of Christ school) mentalities seem to be somewhat of a breeding ground for the people who are so quick to say that this or that person is going to Hell for this or that because the Bible doesn’t instruct to do it. This has always perplexed me, and it’s not just an OVU thing, not just a Church of Christ thing, it’s across the board. Everyone thinks that they're right in what they're doing, or else they wouldn't be doing it, for the most part at least.
I see different churches and the way they do things and my best guess is that all we can do is study the Word and model our life on that while we find a place to worship that is preferable to the other places available to us. Is this wrong though? How can we be sure? I’ve adapted these questions to the concept of being born again that comes with being saved. Sure this is about being made clean and free of sin, but couldn’t it also be about us having to start a new life mentally too? I’ve learned to love the phrase “new Christian” in this light as well. None of us, as humans, grow at the same rate. We all experience physical changes at different ages and we mature at different times as well. I think this applies to our spiritual lives just as much as it does to our physical bodies. In my opinion, I can’t see how anyone can really expect for another person to be on the same page as them when it comes to something as personal as faith. We all have different ways of learning and understanding as well as different influences outside of ourselves that will mold us into who we are, as a human or a Christian. With that in mind, how can we say that this or that person is really wrong with their faith, or that they are remaining stagnant because they’re not going outside of their comfort zones? Aren’t we all just in our comfort zones? No matter where you worship, you must at least feel comfortable there, you must feel like you belong or that you gain something from the other members that you come in contact with.
Growing up in the church that I did was a good experience for me as I had several youth ministers in my life that were a little “out there” as some would say, but as far as I could tell all that meant was that they were actually striving to follow the Gospel of Christ rather than the cultural norm of the congregation that they were employed by. I really value this because it brought me to a place (along with a class I took instructed by the wonderful Dr. Earl Lavender while at Lipscomb and some youth ministry classes taught by a man named Jeff Fincher) where I was able to adapt what I had learned and what I continue to learn to my personal life while being respectful of other’s opinions while learning from them as well. To me this was such a blessing as I’ve met people of differing faiths over the years and been able to have such good conversations about what they believed while doing my best to answer questions that they may have about my faith. This upbringing also gave me experience with those who were super conservative and damming of most that was outside of the 4 walls of whatever square brick building they determined actually had God’s presence in it. Ugh. Please. This leads really makes me wonder though. I don’t get how this or that person can point fingers (myself included, I’m doing it right now) at others and be dumbfounded about why they think or act the way they do. I don’t get how we’re supposed to find common ground so to speak. Sure, I’m ok with people having different ideas or opinions, but I still judge people for what they say/do/believe, and it’s not justified by me not doing it audibly. I still think oh wow, this person tries to sound so intelligent by regurgitating whatever they remember from their philosophy classes and yet they don’t really have any idea about what they’re truly attempting to say. I wonder if that’s all we can do though. We obviously can’t be like Christ. We should certainly try, but we can never be as loving or compassionate or understanding as He is. We just can’t do that, which brings up the question what can we actually do? I love the quote from Ghandi that tells us that we should “be the change we wish to see in the world” but I wonder how we can be that change without venturing into situations that will leave us pointing fingers or boasting that we’re right while saying that everybody else just hasn’t figured it out yet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not questioning my faith here, I’m just questioning how to go about living it out. It’s tough to want to show the love of God to people while having this judgmental voice inside my head telling me why other people are wrong.
Sorry if this seemed scatterbrained/ unorganized...that’s how my brain works I guess, haha, I basically wrote this and didn't really look back over it, also I've never really been a writer. I would really love any thoughts that you have on this subject and I look forward to reading them.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
it's been a little while
i'm pretty sure that nobody looks at this anymore, but i thought i'd take a break from my journal and post something here instead. not much is new, still slinging produce at the finest super target in charlotte (the only one), going to my psych class 2 days a week (it's over soon!) and spending my days off reading, playing music or watching movies. still haven't really met anyone in the area that i feel like hanging out with or anything, there's some alright people at work, but they're all on different pages than i am, or so it seems. it's good though, i'm enjoying the quiet and relaxation and i've been playing a lot more music recently as i'm slowly buying some decent recording gear. fun stuff. anyway, i'm tired and have class at the crack of 8am. time for sleep.
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