When Life Gets You Down, Sometimes You Just Have To Make 'D4: The Mighty Ducks' Yourself

When Life Gets You Down, Sometimes You Just Have To Make 'D4: The Mighty Ducks' Yourself

By Emilio Estevez


Life is unfair. That's just a fact. But when you've got no money and no family and it's been three years since Hollywood offered you a role in a film, you've got to ask yourself, "Am I going to sit here on the couch all day and wallow in self-pity, or am I going to get out there and make D4: The Mighty Ducks on my own?" Well, for me, the answer is simple: The Quack Attack is back, Jack!

Sure, I could wait for the studio to contact me. I could wait for the script for D4: Running Afowl to magically appear in my mailbox with a neat little bow on it. Or, I could brush these Sun Chips crumbs off my stomach, put on some pants, and do this thing! How hard can it be? All you need is some pluck, determination, a buddy with a camera, one of those long microphones they hold above you when you talk, a videotape, and a head full of good ideas. Ideas like that the Ducks are pro hockey players now and I'm the coach.

Bingo bango bongo. Something the whole family can enjoy.

Folks, the real message I'm trying to convey here is that we all face tough times. We all get stuck in a rut. We all contemplate slitting our wrists with the blade of the ice skate we wore in the original Mighty Ducks movie, released in 1992 to warm reviews. I know I've been there. But we have to rise above all that and keep calling Josh Jackson until he returns one of our voicemails, keep trying to figure out how to do a special effect that makes it look like a really fast slap shot burned a hole through the net and set it on fire. Because if we don't do that, I ask you, how are we ever going to get work again?

Now, I've been kicking around D4 ideas for the past 12 years, and it's high time I start putting them out there, because they aren't doing any good rattling around in my head. I got this one idea that Coach Bombay (i.e. me) is skating on a frozen pond in slow motion, sort of reflecting on his life like he always does, and then the ice cracks and he falls in. For a second it looks like he's going to drown, but then you see someone extend this hockey stick into the ice-cold water, and the camera zooms up, and it's Charlie (i.e. Charlie Conway, my protégé). He saves me. He's old now and has a beard. And he says in this really gravelly voice "Ducks fly together" and I nod at him and then the team gets back together to play in the Olympics. Then "Whoomp! (There It Is)" starts playing.

It's really all a metaphor for life and for saving people.

But like I said, that's just one idea. I'm coming up with things all the time. Like the other day, I was doing some doodles of cartoon hockey players, like a pig who's a goaltender because he's fat. It got me thinking that D4 could be half animated, half live action. Like the movie Space Jam was. This could be like Space Jam, but it can be called Hockey Jam. I could be the Michael Jordan guy.

I didn't get to where I am in life by sitting back and not making Mighty Ducks movies. And I'm sure as heck not going to stop now. I've just got to type up these scripts, and do some funny jokes and some cool new characters like a guy who can shoot a puck backwards through his legs. Also I have to find a budget somewhere, because movies need budgets. Then it's just a matter of picking up the phone and calling the old gang. I'm sure they'd be up for another sequel. Guys like Fulton, Lester, Jesse. I wish I knew their real names.

Of course, if I can't get the original actors, am I going to whine and give up? No. When life gives you shit, you've got to turn that shit into D4: The Mighty Ducks: The Prequel.

I've even got some great ideas for awesome new moves. You can't have a Mighty Ducks movie without having cool and funny ways to score goals. In the first one, we had the Flying V and the triple deke. Then in D2 we had the knuckle-puck. Well get ready for this, because this is going to blow you out of the water. Are you ready? Quadruple deke. That's four dekes! Like D4, get it? Four.

The movie will hinge on this, because—spoiler alert!—it's the thing the players will do at the end to win the final game that it looked like they would not be able to win. So this cool move, or "trick," will be an important part of D4.

If anyone reading this has any equipment for making movies with, or is a movie executive, or would like to look over my script and give me some feedback, you can reach me at coach.bombay57@gmail.com.

Wait, I just thought of another thing. We could have the Ducks face the terrorist's hockey team, and if we win, they have to stop being terrorists. That could not only be funny, but also symbolic. - The Onion

Holy crap. This is awesome.

My God, where have you been?

I've been loving this song a lot lately. The last line "My God, where have you been?" first kind of hit me as being somewhere in your life and not really feeling God with you, or doubting or something along those lines, but I don't think that's what it is. When I was driving home from school or the store or somewhere equally unimportant as the previous two places today, I was listening to this, and on those last few lines I started thinking about it as being the realization that God is there, and that you just couldn't see Him or wouldn't see Him, and in your most broken you just look up and there He is. I got chills at this thought. Whether this is right or wrong as far as what Andy Hull intended when writing this song, I don't know. I don't really care. Art is meant to be interpreted. Below is a video of Manchester Orchestra playing it and some guys from Brand New come out and play drums, and Jesse sings part of the song with Andy. I hope you enjoy it. Love to all.

Free NMH/ Jeff Mangum downloads for you sooooo.

Yeah, that's how Fumi would have written the title. Anyway, I stumbled on this stuff today, and I want all my friends to enjoy it as well. Gotta love Mr. Mangum.

Brad + not stuying = awesome videos for you.

I can't get motivated, so here's some things I'd like to share.


Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird, American Mouth


Midlake - Roscoe


Thrice - Daedalus


David Bazan - Hallelujah

Enjoy.

Jeff Mangum plays a NMH song for the first time in 10 years. Hell yes.

Holy crap. I can't imagine hearing much better news today. He played in Pittsburgh and in Columbus, two consecutive nights. This is insane. Could this bring about more appearances? Could we see some new NMH? I sure do hope so. We have been deprived Mangum's genius for 10 years too long if you ask me, so let's hope this is only the beginning. More info on it at Pitchfork. Thanks to Cara for pointing this out to me.

Thanks.

I've been going through some crazy stuff in the past several months. I really hate everything about where I am right now, location and myself personally. I'm making a lot of changes, I'm praying, I'm trusting and I'm talking it through with some great friends. Thanks so much for just hearing me out and stuff. I feel like I've lost some friendships in the past 6 months or so, some were really close to me, others not as much, but for those of you who are helping me out and talking and loving, thanks. Just know that I appreciate it and I love you.

Death Cab and M. Ward...oh my this is a nice Friday.

So over at the Hard to Find a Friend blog, Caleb has been gracious enough to post two shows for everyone today. The first is a Death Cab show from 2000 (lots of stuff from "We Have the Facts.." which is probably my favorite Death Cab record, and the other is M. Ward from 2007. Go get downloading, son!